Next Chapter

A friend said one blogs when there isn't much to do, so the lapses in between entries actually indirectly reflect how engaging one's lifestyle is. Probably true.

Having just ended a commitment-yesterday was my last day as an active member at workplace, might be going back on saturdays when school opens, i dunno- and having set a resolution-thought it over, and discussed with my parents, pushing on for honours, yay, feel much better, with a clearer direction, thanks alot to an obliging friend who helped me thrash out some important issues-and settling myself to another commitment-accepted my first tuition assignment, isn't that amazing, first time for a uni year 3! o well, things just fit in, feel lucky- I feel there is much to update, and hence i'm here.

Actually found out that I'm not really fond of studying-learning yes, love new stuff-but the work to be put in in a curriculum, the exams, the time constraints, hate them all-always thought should have gone on to poly after the secondary years. Realised that only in J2, and told my mum about my thoughts, but she wouldn't hear of it. She said since i'm already where i was, i should push on to uni, instead of wasting the two years and going to a 'sub-quality' institution. Understand what she meant, but if i had dropped out earlier, i would be in my last year in poly now. But no, i can't refuse my mum. She is too strong a personality, yes, even for me, the tough nut. I let her have her way, even when i think she is unreasonable, cos i can't persuade her or let her see my view. And our styles clash, i guess. In tense situations, like those confrontations, we would just get nervy and she would ne shouting and i would stop listening and sulk. Haha. When we can't even communicate, how can we get our ideas across man. I would like to think she is right, most of the time, and i would stand to gain by obeying her, even if i can't see it now, the 'usefulness' would manifest themselves in time to come. Friends tell me to talk to her, tell her nicely, behave in a way that show u r mature, prove that u r responsible, o man, u think i don't know that? I've been with her 21 years of my life! I know what her temper is. Stressful u noe. Grousing to someone who keeps telling you the futile ways to solve the root of the grouses. Yucks.

Yesterday saw yet another stressful situation. Was telling her of my plans, of going on to fourth year. She wouldn't hear of it, and brought out the point that i proposed a three-year course from the start-there's another story to it, but heck-o people do think differently at different times right? and i'm still undecided, it's natural ain't it?-and she started raising her voice. Of course there are the financial issues and time limits, and i felt really bad, being a burden and imposing on the family. Told her about loan schemes and the better prospects that come along with just one more year of investment and a stupid cert. Really feel like bursting i tell u. Luckily, father came back and he supported me. Later, he told me he had all along been prepared for me going on to 4 years, and he understood the betterness of a good cert. O man, how i swelled. I must not disappoint them. I MUSt work damn hard, and earn all the bucks i can.

Sometimes fear I've been too brainwashed by my mum's thinking-of the traditional role and good values. Most are good i think, but one that is definitely not good must be her way of discipline and communication with us kids. Too authorative, must take note to avoid in future years.

And yes, last day of work. Feel a bit sad, as usual-at the end of J2, every sec year, leaving vacation jobs, leaving camps- but still well. Definitely will miss some kind souls, people whom I've made friends with, the different managers-cool, wacky, benevolent, spiteful, PMSy-the customers-I've a few shu ke, people I see at least 3 times a week, and who order the same things, and one who has an acquired taste of tea three-quarter hot water, one-quarter barley-tainted cold water, and only ketchup for sauces-and they are really a pleasant lot generally. K, and of this chapter of life.