tired

but wont feel at rest until i've puked the rubbish from within me, once and for all.

nv knew that such utmost disgust could be buried so safely, except that once unraked, it threatens to even swallow me. i dun care, i wan to dig every detestable trait of his and forget everything after this.

hah... wad kind of lousy SL makes you feel like shit your first day in co?-fancy laughing at your weaknesses. what kind of jerk doesnt give any mentoring at all, only to shame you in front of the orc, mind you, less than 24h to the performance-did he expect the idiots of his platoon to suddenly gain enlightenment upon hearing his golden words of wisdom and become bull's eye hitters?-denying you even of a life and mind-saving-break? 4h of prac leh old man... wad kind of shit doesnt reply to your queries about his cranky insistence of 'nobody should be blowing the same octave as him' theory, that throws you at your wits' ends as you search for the ultimate dizi that covers the darkest and lowest range of the scale-hey, i not so long winded like you k? and my fingers short and weak, cannot hold that damned dz that is one metre long for 5min can? you pervert, so long breath, fingers thick like ham rolls, blow the tiny ones i fell sorry for them.

u r sl lor. why no advice when we need them? only noe to tell us must blow softer and lower-a dog could do that i swear. i very much wan to accept ur preachings and understand your predicament, that its not easy lookin after a bunch of ygsters, who may b proud and disrespectful, and tt we reali suck, and not wanting to disgrace the orc, u have thereby sacrifice your nobility to uphold the honour of nusco, but no lor, you r quick to reject any bold souls who raise the idea of new challenges. saddened, what kind of organization condones such atrocities?? three years in a dilapidated pathetic org on the brink of collapse, much so dependant on a few single pillars. the rest are to make up numbers- i feel utterly worthless in here, a bicycle in a world of choppers and shuttles, overwhelmed by that other frequencies-so that the stage doesnt look so cold?

BUt, i'm reali grateful for the generosity when i asked for a spare dz. and i've definitely become more tolerant towards nonsense/crap/idiots/jerks.