been going back to the repertoire of ready-answers, esp during this period when pple are bound to ask why are u home on first lunar day? what are you gg to wk as? what do pple doing ur course do? why do u study chem?

this evokes some painful memories, but u sugarlace it to make it presentable during cny. like dabbing a lil red on urself and pasting gold on oranges.

one yr is nothin- just watched fireworks with the extended family and now they are back again! y is the relation so strained? i reali wonder. partly due to poisoning by mum- always feeds us with negative karma of them- and partly due to personal observations- that can well be tainted. IF, if it din happen, will we be close-knit? the dread of seeing them, wow. worse than taking A-levels. ok, be glad its jus once a yr. no regrets for more. even then, when they were ard, things seemed strange- mum will always forbid more interaction with the instructing eyes; tho we yearned, longed, for play and company, and they looked cool and fun. we were the guai kias; they the spoilt. no, nv do tt to children.

the drift is now uncrossable. the fakeness of it all, makes me nauseous. let bygones be bygones? the petty nv forgive, the fools forget, the wise forgive, but nv forget.